brb Jew York

lol jews

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How was it? Were you:
• Mugged?
• Raped?
• Saved by Batman?
• Molested by a costume character in Time Square?
• Molested by Batman ?
• Confused by new-age "art"?
• Able to enjoy the pizza?
-----• Did you eat it with a fork?!
• Surrounded by hipsters?
• Able to find any surviving beatniks?
• Just riding the subway all day because, you know: TRAINS?
• Treated rudely?
• Constantly surrounded by people talking about how great New York is?
• Shocked by how stupidly expensive things were?
• Forced to stand in a line for an hour to get into Trader Joe's?
• Made uneasy by a stray cat staring you down while you shopped in a Bodega?
• Offered any number of fake luxury watches at discount prices?
• Able to walk down the street for more than 5 minutes without (depending on neighborhood):
-----• Seeing someone in an expensive suit?
-----• Hearing gunshots?
-----• Seeing someone screaming into/at a building?
-----• Seeing a food vendor?

These:
• Just riding the subway all day because, you know: TRAINS?
• Treated rudely?
• Able to walk down the street for more than 5 minutes without (depending on neighborhood):
-----• Seeing someone in an expensive suit?
-----• Hearing gunshots?
-----• Seeing someone screaming into/at a building?

I took 27 trips on the subway and bus over three and a half days.
I ate all Asian food (twice chinese, twice japanese, twice korean) over the course of the trip, with the exception of breakfast (once IHOP, once free hotel breakfast, once fruit I bought, and once McDonalds).
I nearly got knocked over by a lady walking in Chinatown.
I hung out with some bros.

IT WAS GREAT.